Becoming a Better Me

This week I begin the start of my second semester at Mizzou. With so many laughs and memories from first semester I can not wait to see what the rest of my freshman year has in store for me. Even though first semester was rough in a few spaces, I would say it has been an overall great experience so far. Right now I am the happiest I think I have ever been. I have a family who loves me and a boyfriend that means the world to me. That is such an awesome feeling! While everything may be hunky-dory right now, I have some major plans for the upcoming months.

I plan on making changes in myself. I am going to frequent the Rec and become toned again. Maybe I will even work on my fear of heights and work up the courage to rock climb more often. Of course it is great to work out and become healthier, but I also want to make changes mentally.

I would like to become more of a positive person. Whenever I am having a bad day I am going to make myself write down all of the things in life I am blessed to have. I am also going to tell the people I care about how much they mean to me more often. I feel like starting with little steps like those will easily transform into being more of an upbeat and happier person.

I am excited to see where my life will be 4 months from now. These small changes can lead to even bigger changes, but I’m willing to take the risk! I have family, friends and Landon by my side to help me along the way and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

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This Moment

This moment is mine. All mine.

I don’t have to share it. I don’t have to worry about pleasing others. I get to focus on ME. For once in my life, this is about me.

 

Welcome to Mizzou, Allison. The first day of greetings began and no one knew how excited I was to begin this new life. It was time to say goodbye to the small town I have known for the past 18 years of my life and venture off into the “city”. 

Change is inevitable. Since the day I left to Troy to this very moment, my little world is being exposed to the large ocean of the unknown. I have never seen such diversity in just one place. Sometimes my mind doesn’t even know how to take in all of the quirky things I have seen. I find myself more open to trying new things and reaching out to people I would have never even considered before. 

In my journalism class we were thrown in with the sharks within the first two weeks of being here. Already writing stories for them to be posted online to our class website. My articles were posted under my name, I repeat, MY NAME. Like what? Can this be happening? Allison Spence is writing for CAFNR Corner Post. To some that may not be a big deal, but for me this is huge. I was never into writing in high school. I was the photo editor for our yearbook for two years. Never had to write or design for anything. Now I come to college and start writing. This was a change I never saw coming. 

There are some changes I did see heading my way. As my friends and I split ways, I saw our friendships begin to split as well. Sometimes I feel as though my friends don’t even know I exist anymore. Which is okay! We are all going our separate ways, I get that. I think this just hit me harder than it has before. My closest friends hardly talk to me. We went from being with each other every day to going weeks without catching up. Of course we are all busy and have things to do, but if you can make time to go play on the internet for an hour, you have time to shoot a fast text saying hello. Yes, phones work both ways, but if I don’t receive a text back the first time I am not going to keep trying to get ahold of them. When I do go home I feel ignored or unappreciated by uncalled for actions which honestly keeps me from wanting to come home. Sometimes I think I take this harder than I really should, but then I realize there is nothing I can do about it. 

On the flip side, I have come to realize that there is more to life than just that little town. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my hometown, but I knew I had to leave. The fields of corn and soybeans were not going to teach me how to grow as a person. I knew it was time to venture out. So I did and here I am. 

I have learned to cope and accept these changes. From the gross food to the loud city noises coming from the streets outside my dorm, I have adjusted to this new life. All of my new friends make me realize how real this is. I am at college. This is happening. Not quite sure what is in store for me here, but I guess I am fixin’ to find out!

This is my time. This moment is mine.